Reports from several German blog sites suggest that Volkswagen won't be bringing its King Kong Edition Touareg to America. If I was working in VW's US ad agency creative department I'd be tearing my hair out with that news. Forgetting for a moment that we're already overrun with too may Stupid Useless Vehicles, the King King Edition was an ad writer's dream. (Note: for a long time I was one of them, overpaid and underappreciated.)

Imagine a TV commercial where the Touareg, backed by a voice-over that claims it "leaps buildings in a single bound" appears to be climbing the empire state building. A crawl reads: "Professional drivers only. Do not attempt this." Cut to a raging King Kong with a beautiful damsel in his palm. A confused Kong kicks at the pesky SUV as it approaches. When the Touareg gets closer our Gorilla hero becomes confused, then fascinated. The terrified damsel perks up at the sight of such a handsome rescuer. Kong, captivated by the vehicle, apparently pays no attention as the young lady slips out of his grasp and into the passenger's seat. The Touareg deftly does a 180 and drives back down the Empire State.

Cut to a close-up of a smiling King Kong with the Touareg in his palm as the voice-over announcer says "the only thing better than a Volkswagen Touareg is... a Touareg King Kong Edition. See your dealer for details."